Where have you been?

Awful day.

I worked myself up over insignificant things and let myself go to work without a packed lunch. That’s just asking for trouble. But it’s done and over and tomorrow is a new day. Here’s to days like today becoming the rarity rather than the norm!

My mind is evil.

Only a few days in and it’s already playing tricks on me.

I never really overeat because I’m hungry, I don’t think I’m craving things per se either, it’s just that I get the idea of some food into my head and it just won’t shift until I try it.

Last night I’d stuck to what I’d meant to and was in bed when my mind started thinking of other food in the house and I ended up reasoning that I hadn’t had the noodles I’d planned to eat for lunch so I could have those…However, they were egg noodles and seeing as up until recently I’ve been eating vegan I couldn’t deal with their taste and ended up binning them. Considering this a victory I went back to bed.

Then I started thinking about what I’d eat throughout the week …and I started thinking about the veggie burger I had planned for wed. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about the bean burgers in my freezer and ended up heating one of those.

It wasn’t a complete disaster as luckily I had no junk in the house, but it’s ridiculous how little control I feel I have over these things. It sounds stupid but once I get a notion in my head I really feel powerless - I know I’m going to eat.

I guess that’s why this is more about changing my mindset. I can restrict myself and make all the rules I want but my head will just ignore them when it sees convenient.I need to get to the state where my head and the rest of me are in this together.

I’m really craving a cherry ripe right now - luckily I don’t know anywhere that sells them (after having moved to the UK from Aus) but unfortunately I need to go out and do some laundry and shopping which will put me in the way of all sorts of temptation. It is Sunday and my mind is trying to reason that I should make Sunday’s a cheat day…but, really? 3 days in and you already want a cheat day?

I suppose I’ll just go out and see what happens - if I do screw up though then I will chalk today up as a ‘cheat day’ rather than an ‘omg I’m a failure, I hate myself now I must binge for the next two weeks day’.

Baby steps.

reblog if you are a weight loss blog that has a starting weight of 150 or higher!

fightingmywaybacktothin:

collegeweightloss:

theskinnyveg:

motivatedataglance:

littlemiss-fitness:

this-time-is-it:

shedweightnottears:

foreverconfident:

newmefuckyou:

functionalhope:

theskinnyveg:

sw: 252 cw: 224 :)

SW: 310, CW: 254.2, holler!

SW:250 CW:225.5

190! CW: 175

SW: 195, CW: 169.2

SW: 193lbs, CW: ~188lbs

SW: 152lb; CW: 134lb :)

SW: 161; CW: 149 !

 SW: 252, CW: 221 fuck yeah

SW: ~190, CW: 168.4 :] 

SW: 196, CW: 187 :)

SW: 190, CW:190 (I’m just starting out!)

(Source: g3tf1t)

Probably not off to as good as start as I should be.

Yesterday was fine. I skipped breakfast - I’m really torn about this particular meal, I know I should eat it but if I do then I’m absolutely ravenous and prone to snack at my desk so I tend not to. However, I normally eat lunch at 2 or 3 and dinner at 7 so perhaps I’ll try and start eating some fruit mid-morning… Anyway, I then had salad and chickpeas for lunch. I had an afternoon meeting so didn’t get to eat the grapes I’d packed and was starving by the time I got home.

Evenings are really the tricky time for me. I developed such a bad habit of buying a snack after work as I know I still have an hour or so to commute and then maybe another halfa-hour until dinner. I’ve managed to stop this but if I don’t have dinner planned and stop in at the supermarket to grab something when I’m in this state I will buy way too much food and  feel obligated to eat it all - which is ridiculous. I need to stop my evening supermarket trips and to ensure I have healthy snacks on me so I don’t enter this food-frenzy stage of an evening.

Seeing as I’d only had my salad by the time I arrived home I’d normally have headed to the store but instead I went home and put a meal in the oven - it was a ready made fish, chips and peas meal so not the most healthy but an improvement. I think the main thing to begin with is just breaking my bad habits and having meals prepared. I’m not going to drive myself insane with calorie counting and all that just yet. I ate my grapes whilst I waited…then some carrots and houmos as it was taking too long. By the time I’d had my dinner I was quite full and satisfied. Normally, I’d have kept snacking all night - not because I’m in anyway hungry, just because it’s what I do. But I managed not to so, yay!

I also had a few chocolates at work - the stationary guy brought some in and I’m a sucker for sweets. But it was just a couple and I’m going with the theory that completely depriving myself is what will lead to binges.

Today I’ve grazed on grapes and carrots and was planning on having noodles and veg for lunch; however, I spied a microwave choc pudding (dairy free) in the fridge and may have ate that…not so good. But it’s now 3 and I’m not hungry so I might just skip lunch. Not the end of the world. 

I find weekends hard - especially ones like this where I am too broke and unmotivated to go anywhere so I just bum around the house watching TV. All I want to do is snack…well, it’s not even that I want to. I just do.

So, we’re two days in and I haven’t been perfect but I haven’t been awful. I know, especially considering I’m yet to get off my lazy arse, it’s not going to lead to any dramatic changes, but it’s a good start and I normally get a lot more motivated once I cut out all the shit food. I’m going to try and limit my dairy intake as well as that’s one thing that makes me feel very sluggish and ill.

Once I start eating cleaner the motivation tends to follow so I’m not going to beat myself up just yet. x